Wedding Time!

I'm standing in my saree blouse and skirt waiting for my Amma to wrap me in what seems like miles and miles of beautiful fabric. I'm wearing makeup for the first time since my arrival in India, and I have tons of bangles on. According to Amma you can never have enough bangles. She wraps me in the saree and pins everything into place (the pros don't need pins). I look at myself in the mirror and can't even believe it. White girl in a dark green saree, quite the sight to see. We drive to the reception hall and I can barely step out of the car because I haven't mastered the art of moving around in a saree yet. Before I even had time to breathe we were thrown into a cluster of people, colors, craziness! A camera was already snapping pictures of us and people were definitely staring. My Amma is quite the social butterfly and introduced me to all of her friends.

A little while later fireworks were blasting away as the bride and groom walked into the hall and the Carnatic music was blaring from the instruments. The bride was wearing an intricate saree and was adorned in jewelry. She looked beautiful. I asked my Amma when they had met and if they knew each other from before. She told me this was the second time they had ever met and they hadn't spoken to each other yet. My first instinct was shock. Isn't she scared???? I couldn't help but wonder what she was feeling in that moment. As much as arranged marriages are the tradition of India, it's still scary to have your whole life turned around in just a matter of days! I was nervous for her.

Next we moved inside the hall where we were given a variety of fresh juices and we took pictures with the bride and groom. Next came the food. This was the most intense food experience I've had in India so far. SO MUCH FOOD and it was all absolutely delicious. I didn't eat fast enough for their standards and the food just kept coming. The guests sitting around me were mesmerized by the sight of me mixing all my food and eating with my hands like a pro! And of course, it wouldn't be a proper wedding without dessert.

As the night came to a close, we took some final pictures with the family of the groom and with Amma's friends. I was exhausted. I can't believe they have two more days of this! The wedding traditions are absolutely beautiful and I am so happy I was able to experience my first and hopefully not last Indian wedding. I thought maybe with that massive crowd I would be able to blend in slightly. Nope. There were the starers, the people who stared but pretended they weren't, the gigglers, people who asked questions, and tons of confused guests. I was told I have a very nice nose, and that God blessed me with such light and beautiful skin. I told all the women that they're skin was just as beautiful and God had blessed them as well. It's interesting and sometimes sad to see what is viewed as "beautiful" in different parts of the world. Beauty is in the dark skin of these south Indian women dressed in colorful silk sarees who work hard all day long to make their family happy.
Unreal, overwhelming, beautiful experience.

xo
E

Bride and groom

Amma (2nd from right) and her friends

LOVE

Happy Valentine's Day!

The past week has been full of so much love for me. I don't know if it was the Valentine's Day spirit or just this beautiful country that makes me feel nothing but love for the people, places, things around me.

Surprisingly, this Valentine's Day was one of the most celebrated I have ever experienced. We each had a secret Valentine, we all got flowers, ate cake, and tons of chocolate! It was nice to have a piece of home here in India. On the morning of Valentine's Day our POD activity was to write a list of things that we love or make us happy. My list consisted of:
- INDIA
- the way my amma smiles when I ask for more food
- yoga
- Camp Nubar
- puppies
- cuddling
- lipstick
- s'mores
- watching Manchester United games with my dad
- when my mom laughs at her own jokes
- IHP
- Boston
- NYC
- the world

This activity brought up emotions that I didn't even know I had! I have been so happy and caught up in the crazy whirlwind that is India that I didn't realize how much I miss some of the little things from home. The amazing thing is that there is love everywhere, and I have found it here in India. I found it in my homestay, in the food, in the people, the smells, the colors, the hot sun, the noisy streets. It's everywhere.

My relationship with my Amma and Appa has been growing and I cannot believe that I only have one week left with this wonderful family. My Amma is the best cook in all of Chennai. She loves to see me eat, and her least favorite word in the Tamil dictionary is "podum" which means "enough". Today Appa told me about the story of his arranged marriage, and how Amma was the first perspective bride he met and he instantly said yes. There is something so beautiful about the custom of arranged marriages that I had never opened my eyes to before. He showed me pictures from his and his daughter's wedding, and I showed him pictures from my cousin's recent wedding. We both had so many questions about the other culture's traditions, it was amazing. Amma surprised me with an invitation to a wedding of one of her colleague's next week and I am so excited to be a part of such a beautiful custom.

Amma in her kitchen being a superstar. 

NOTHING BUT LOVE AND GRATITUDE.

Namaste

E

"It is very good for health!"

It has officially been a week since my move into the home of Usha and Ramesh, my amma and appa. Upon arrival I was greeted with smiling faces and with an unexpected Paati (grandma!). They made sure I was comfortable in every way possible and I have felt completely at home with them since.

Paati doesn't speak english very well, but I automatically felt attached to her. She is a professional mosquito zapper and loves to crochet. They day we arrived she was reading a Tamil to English dictionary to prepare for us! It was the cutest thing. Usha, my amma, is an economics teacher and is studying to get her PhD right now. She is a phenomenal cook and makes everything organic! (a dream come true) She has the most beautiful collection of sarees, and is going to help me find the perfect one! Ramesh loves to talk about his daughter who recently moved to Boston. They have a beautiful home that is slightly removed from the chaos of the rest of Chennai. It almost feels like a suburb. They have spent years tending to their beautiful garden that has a mango tree, coconut tree, lemon tree, flowers, and SO many herbs. Every meal we have had so far has consisted of something from their garden, and everything is "very good for health!"

I have learned so much from this family already. Ramesh and I had the most wonderful talk on the roof of their home for an hour about the differences in our lifestyles, and the perceptions of privilege. His face lights up whenever he talks about his daughter and it makes me so happy to see how proud he is of her. Usha is such a smart woman. Just today we talked about the difference between growth and development. Everyday when I come home from class her students are sitting on the patio for after school tutoring. She wakes up everyday at 4:30am and starts cooking and preparing for the day, goes to her school at 8:30 then comes home at 3:30pm. She then works with her students until 8pm. I have never seen someone work so hard and keep a smile on her face the whole time. She loves this stuff.

India. This past week has been such an emotional rollercoaster for me. There was a point when I felt lost and all over the place. My mind was trying to process so much that it just shut down. Being here has taught me to compartmentalize my emotions. I love India. I love me in India. The world is so different here but somehow I feel strangely connected with this place, the people, their practices, religion, souls, yoga.

This past week my schedule has been waking up at 6:30am, yoga on the roof, breakfast, off to school which starts at 8:30am, classes, guest lectures, spending some time with friends, exploring the city, coming back home around 6:30pm, spending time with my family, dinner!

Yesterday during a community building session we all said what we are thankful for. I said I was thankful for our little IHP family. We work as one body and feel everything together. Everyone is so accepting and open, I have never felt so at home in such a foreign place. I can be in the weirdest mood, and its okay. The support we have for each other is incredible.

Hope Nemo is treating everyone well! Sending love from sunny Chennai.

E

Paati and I

Namaste from Chennai

VANAKKAM from India!

I made it! The two full days of travel was quite exhausting but it was all worth it when we arrived into the hustle and bustle of Chennai. It was 3am and the crowds outside the airport were shocking.Our country coordinator Ram met us and helped us all get to the hotel where we were greeted by his wife Latha and others. We were each handed a rose and Latha went around and placed some rosewater on the base of our necks and gave us each a bindi. We were all so tired, but our eyes were wide open. The hotel is almost too nice for what I was expecting, and I couldn't help but feel slightly guilty.

After only a few hours of rest we were out and about in Chennai. There is SO much going on all the time here. All you can hear around you is honking horns. There are so many different smells, from the exhaust of all the rickshaws, motorbikes, etc, to the flowers sold at the street vendors. There are so many people everywhere. After lunch (which I ate with my hands) we went around the city to multiple tourist sites including Marina Beach and a beautiful Hindi temple.

I am on sensory overload right now. One question that I had running through my mind all day was what are all of these people doing? Where are they going? Everyone is just walking on the streets. Its such a strange and foreign site to me. Do they have homes? Why aren't the kids in school?

As I walked barefoot through the Hindi Temple, I felt so connected with the Earth and the people around me even though we were so different. Believing in something so strong is amazing. To be honest I was jealous. I feel so lucky to be among these people. IT WAS MAGICAL.

On Friday I think it all hit me. We were walking down the streets and everyone was just so out of their comfort zone. We were all on edge and felt so out of place. It's crazy how clear the cultural differences are. To them I am just a white girl in India. Thats it. What does that make me? What do they think when they see me? Will there ever be a way to break these boundaries? There was a point when I couldn't tell if I was angry, confused, sad, or culture shocked. The great thing is having people in my group that are feeling the exact same things.

Today we took our first trip on a rickshaw into the markets of T nagar. Holly, Steph, and I sat down in this rickshaw, somehow managed to explain where we wanted to go and that was it. We were zooming down the tiny streets of Chennai. "We're doing it. We're doing it." I felt so alive. I've never seen anything like this city before. We walked around the market and browsed through the different stands with colorful kurtas, bangles, beads, shoes, everything. People say hi and take pictures of our group like they've never seen people like us before, its unreal.

Tonight we move in with our homestay families and I am nervous but so excited. I can't wait to see how our relationship will build and transform and help me get comfortable in this city for the next 4 weeks.

I can't do justice to what I am feeling/seeing around me all the time over here. But I hope my blogs and pictures will help.

Namaste,
E

Love. Breathe. Me.

Three words. So much meaning. My motto. During a POD (person of the day) exercise that we do every morning, we were asked to pick three words that would be our motto throughout the trip.

LOVE. I have already opened my heart so much on this journey. I didn't even know I had the potential to connect in this way with so many people. It's an absolutely incredible feeling.

BREATHE. One breath can bring everything back together when I'm feeling all over the place.

ME. I'm doing this! I've never felt so alive. This is my chance to find my place in the world. I have no idea what that means just yet but I know it's out there. I'm doing me.

I am currently on the plane from NOLA to Chicago. I can't believe the time has come. I have a 6 hour layover, 16 hour flight to Hong Kong, and another 6 hours between me and Chennai, India. I have absolutely no idea what my life will be like from this moment on, but I am so excited.

My last week in New Orleans was full of growth and happiness. During this week we took a trip to a farmers market with the entire group. On the way back, I was sitting on the bus next to a stranger and was observing my surroundings. My friend Holly was talking to a young boy that had just gotten out of school. Another friend was playing patty cake with a little girl and another talking to a boy our age about IHP. While this moment seemed so small in comparison to the whole trip, it was one of the best for me. I sat silently and just listened. I realized that though we are only 33 students in a huge world, even one conversation or game or smile can change someone's day or maybe their life.

Things my experience in NOLA/with IHP has given me so far:
- JAZZ
- Gumbo
- Love
- Friends
- Ability to question the familiar
- Realization that the world is a big and crazy place and I can't fix/do everything but I'll try!!
- An understanding of my privilege.

This list could go on forever, but for now I will leave you all with that. I can't wait to update you all from India.

Until then,
E xo

Be Here Now #NOLA

Greetings from NOLA!

So it has officially been a week since my arrival into this unbelievable, soulful, extravagant, and cultured city. The past week has consisted of morning yoga, jam packed orientation sessions, eye opening site visits, and a lot of fun New Orleans exploring. It is hard for me to explain exactly what this past week has meant to me so I have decided to share bits and pieces from my journal entries each day.

January 14
"I can NOT believe where I am right now, who I'm surrounded by and what I am about to experience. We just had a talk about experiential learning and what is to come during this program. This topic seemed to effect many of us deeply. I felt empowered, intimidated, exhilarated but it helped me put things into perspective. I hope to gain a deeper understanding of the world and the major public health issues prevalent. I hope to gain a deeper sense of myself and what I want to do with this knowledge. I hope to not hold back from trying/doing/saying anything. There is such a strong and positive energy within our group and I hope to embrace every second of it. I hope to take what I see/learn/do during IHP back home with me and share it with my friends and family. I hope to feel what the people in these countries are feeling, see what they see, eat what they eat (sometimes) and live what they live. 'Make the strange familiar and eventually have the familiar become strange'."

Live music from our country coordinator's husband and friend during our welcome dinner.

January 15
"AHHH so many policies, rules, safety precautions!!!"
"After classes a few of us went to the French Quarter and had dinner then went to Maison on Frenchman Street. I love jazz. There is so much soul and talent in this city its unbelievable. Everyone is so proud to be from NOLA. It makes me feel special to be among them."

January 16

Mahoney's

January 17
"IGNORANCE. Walking around the lower ninth ward and I feel terrible. There is so much I feel like I don't know about Katrina that NO ONE told me. I wasn't expecting to have these feelings of guilt and sadness until I left America. So much has happened in this city that I will never be able to fully understand. I just can't believe that after all these years so many areas have been neglected."

One of many (still) destroyed homes in the Lower Ninth Ward

January 18
"'The trip you are about to embark on is unfathomable and totally inaccessible to the majority of the people in the world,' This was a quote in a presentation about the privilege we have as American students studying abroad. To be honest I am not sure how to feel about all of this. I feel guilty, sad, confused. We all have such good intentions on this trip, but I feel like we can never enter these countries without being looked at differently because of our background. It's frustrating."
"I started today off in a strange place, but ended it in an amazing one. Tonight we had a great group dinner then walked down Bourbon Street and ended up on Frenchman Street. I want to share my experience and New Orleans with everyone. I feel connected with this city and with my group."

Class session

Bourbon Street

Jazz

January 19
"Today we watched the documentary 'When the Levees Broke'. My initial feelings were anger. I can't even believe this is 'my' country. I just can't even begin to imagine the loss of hope, faith, trust, love that has occurred in this city. HOW do the leaders of our government sleep at night knowing that they allowed all those people go for days without food, water, medications, warmth?"

January 20
"Finally a completely unscheduled day. Today myself and a few others explored the city without time constraints. We went on the ferry and crossed the Mississippi River and then strolled around the French Quarter in the daytime."

I hope this gives you all a good idea about my experience in New Orleans so far. It already feels like the time is flying. 8 days till India, unreal.

All the best from down south,
E

Ready

"If you want to feel secure, do what you already know how to do. If you want to be a true student and want to continue to grow...go to the cutting edge of your competence, which means a temporary loss of security. So whenever you don't quite know what you're doing, know that you are growing." - Madeline Hunter

A good friend and former IHPer included this quote in a lovely letter she wrote me with some final advice for my trip. Right now, as I lay in bed, heart racing, eyes wide open, the night before my flight to New Orleans, it is this quote that is comforting me. I have never been this nervous and I definitely feel a temporary loss of security right now, but I know this is exactly how I should be feeling the night before I begin my journey.

I couldn't have asked for a better last week home. I spent an amazing few days in Boston with my best friends and came back home to a final two days with my family and friends in NYC. I knew a breakdown was coming at one point, and when it happened, on my last night in Boston, I realized I am just so happy with where I am right now. I am leaving my "home life" just how I want it to be, making it that much better to come back to later, and I am about to embark on this incredible and indescribable experience. It was definitely hard saying bye, but while four months seems like forever right now, it is going to fly and technology allows me to never be too far away.

My flight to New Orleans is at 7 am and you better bet the whole Atamian family is coming to make a scene at the airport, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm all packed and still can't believe I managed to fit four months of clothes, shoes, a mini pharmacy, etc in one luggage. I decided my first picture in my blog should be of my new, super cute, "sesame seed" phone that I will be using abroad. (Don't worry I'm bringing my iphone too!)

For those of you that would like to keep in touch I will be using whatsapp messenger and you can email me at elisa.atamian@gmail.com.

Despite the nerves, I feel happy, excited, and mostly READY. I'm ready to see what the world has in store for me. "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

Let the journ-E begin!!

SEE YOU SOON,
E xo